My Nights

 I am the one who's been asking you
& it hurts to ask you.
But maybe you don't know what the nights are like for people who can't sleep.

Thats when I want you...
Thats when I need you like food or air or blood.
I watch your lips moving,
Shaping sounds that die away.
& lovers become poets for one brief hour.
Kissing an expressionless face into a smile.
Thoes who create are like you
& the overflow of things pour into you when things &  thoughts can no longer contain it.
& when you consume my brain with fire, Ill feel you burn in every drop of my blood.

I love the dark hours of my being
My mind deepens into them.

If this is arrogant forgive me, but this is what I have to say,
May what you do flow from you like a river
No forcing & no holding back
The way it is with children.

I want to mirror your intensity
I want to unfold
Let no place inside me hold itself closed
For when I am closed,
I am false.

You see I want alot,
Maybe I want it all.
So many do not seem to care, casual, easy, they move in the world as though untouched.

But you take pleasures in the faces of thoes who thrist.
You cherish thoes who grip you for survival.
Yet sometimes in dreams I take your whole expanse
from it's deepest beginnings
Up to my footsteps' glittery ridge.
Because you once dared me to want you
Even when I don't...it ripens

You are afterall the partner to my loneliness
The unspeaking center of my monuloges

& with each disclosure you encompass more & stretch beyond what limits me to hold you.

But I can choose to feel you
my hands wouldn't clutch at you like this so needy & tight

Instead I would paint you.
Not on the wall but in one broad sweep across the sky.
& I would paint you brashly like fire or wind
& I would find you in all things I care for.