I hate that there's a street that shares your name.
This city hates me.
I despise that this street is the one across from the train station
& I have to look at it everyday.
I think about plenty of others you know.
& I do it with a smile.
I look painful when I think of you.
Maybe we're friends
I dont know
Maybe.
My life is in shambles
My nose is barely above sea level
Your life preserver sucks
I hate it too.
I ironically find myself being nicer to girls who look like you.
& now this girl...
She's so sweet
I want to overtake her.
I spent my day off masturbating
Sometimes you need that.
Oh the stress of this life!
I thought of her instead of you.
It was less painful
& I enjoyed being in charge.
I thought about what I waould say in her ear
From behind
Holding her tightly
Gripping my sheets
My mattress
Her waist.
.... It was a good day off.
I didn't think about work once.
I didn't think about the prep log
Or the pars for Saturday.
Just me
Outside of that
Me as a human
Undefined by occupation
.... It was a good day off.
Sometimes I forget I have breasts.
They're so small.
They're untouched most of the time
& When I dress I don't push them up
Or try to hide them.
I just get dressed.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the traincar window
When I was wearing a tank & a "non-work" bra.
They do have a shape
A life
A bounce
I was reminded of them by a gentleman actually.
He was nice, polite, funny & smart.
We had an interesting conversation.
& during I noticed him hiding his glance downward...
It was discreate...
but I saw.
I forget my own power as a woman.
Im so used to being powered by women
that I put my own aside & forget,
I like African American women.
I want to date one
& cook for her.
I want to have a passionate love affair.
Kiss Kiss Kiss
I hope she has a pet.
I hope she likes her family
& we can have dinners.
I hope she is a stylish dresser,
Loves to dance
& is excited about life.
Likes to read
Is outspoken & kind.
Was that a well written Craigslist ad?
I hope she thinks Im corny & cute.
I hope she likes to hold hands or link arms too.
I'd probably kiss her a lot.
Maybe she'll like
Feathers & Crafts & Tattoos & Poetry & Magicians & Funny Political Books , British Comedy, & Bold Haircuts too...
You Artsy Huh?
I hope.....
..... It was a good day off.
