When I saw you for the first time,
It was from across the dance floor.
Past a sea of people.
Your cheeks were flushed from the heat of the room.
& you were beautiful.
All around you were people fighting to stand out,
But not you
You were trying to blend in.
You didn't have to fight.
You glowed.
It seemed as though you were taken
I respected that
So I simply reveled in the fact that you exsisted that night.
Somewhere in this city.
I didn't go home alone...
I went home with my thoughts
Visions of the way your eyes smiled.
"If given the chance..." I said...
Then... I was.
You were so sweet & attentive
Like you really cared about what I had to say.
& you made me nervous
It was a good nervous
A great nervous
I remember looking at you all over
Your eyes
Your body
Everything
I remember thinking about how to describe the way I felt.
I felt the way a man must feel
A boy
It was like my body had a mind of it's own
Had it's own agenda
It's own brain
It's own will
My body wanted you
& if like a man, I could have shown it physically
Outwardly
Uncontrollably
I would have been embarrassed.
An animal
a monster
I felt split in two
My brain was overthinking...
Overloading
Second guessing
My body... The animal
had no need for guesses or games
Pouncing
But that was then
& that was all
My brain, somewhat cocky
Always expects an outcome
A goal acheived
A new path conquered
A field is the result
Simple
Open
With flushed cheeks
& laughing eyes
Beautiful...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Take Flight
10 against 1 just isn't fair.
Your heart against mine isn't either.
But who plays fair in love anyway?
Certainly not you
& certainly not your heart.
Not your arms
or your eyes
Not your stare
or your glare
But me? Im here & fully armed
Ha!
Just try it!
I'll grab you
Ill take you by surprise
& you won't even know you've been hit.
You don't see me anyway
But later
Ill slide in your thoughts
& there I'll stay
Moving you
with my words
My tools
Lies Lies secrets & more.
Move in your boots
Ill untie your shoes
You'll fall just like anyone
Ill trip you
But catch you before you go down.
Maybe you think that's wrong.
Maybe I should think that's wrong.
But who are you to point accusing fingers across this room?
this is my room
& so is everything in it.
Greedy I am
Selfish
I am not
Envious
I am
Of your feathers beautifully ruffled.
Bet they're soft like I imagine your hands are.
Wear your glasses
& straighten your curls
We'll dance this dance into the night.
This city is cruel
& you live in it.
Im here too
& so I will adapt
This city demands it.
I am a monster.
Are you scared?
I am a prince.
Are you intrigued?
If I make demands will you jump?
Or laugh in my face...
Turn away & say you hear nothing?
I should just be a pillow for you to use.
Then my feathers will serve a purpose.
They'll take flight beneath you
Your heart against mine isn't either.
But who plays fair in love anyway?
Certainly not you
& certainly not your heart.
Not your arms
or your eyes
Not your stare
or your glare
But me? Im here & fully armed
Ha!
Just try it!
I'll grab you
Ill take you by surprise
& you won't even know you've been hit.
You don't see me anyway
But later
Ill slide in your thoughts
& there I'll stay
Moving you
with my words
My tools
Lies Lies secrets & more.
Move in your boots
Ill untie your shoes
You'll fall just like anyone
Ill trip you
But catch you before you go down.
Maybe you think that's wrong.
Maybe I should think that's wrong.
But who are you to point accusing fingers across this room?
this is my room
& so is everything in it.
Greedy I am
Selfish
I am not
Envious
I am
Of your feathers beautifully ruffled.
Bet they're soft like I imagine your hands are.
Wear your glasses
& straighten your curls
We'll dance this dance into the night.
This city is cruel
& you live in it.
Im here too
& so I will adapt
This city demands it.
I am a monster.
Are you scared?
I am a prince.
Are you intrigued?
If I make demands will you jump?
Or laugh in my face...
Turn away & say you hear nothing?
I should just be a pillow for you to use.
Then my feathers will serve a purpose.
They'll take flight beneath you
The Jerk
Life is merely a series of interviews & friend-er-views.
it happens when you & the other person decide whether or not,
you want to continue spending time with one another.
Table for 1...
Dinner alone...
Just because you're single doesn't mean you don't get hungry for good food.
Doesn't mean you can't go to a nice restaurant to eat.
Doesn't mean you don't deserve good food in your stomach.
Im not ashamed.
Im not too proud or scared to do things alone.
if I want to do something, Im going to do it.
I've done plenty of things alone....
These include but are not limited to....
Movies, dinner, lunch, breakfast, shows, clubs, art viewings, the park doctor's visits, christmas (once) & New Years.
It actually feels strange when I have someone in my car.
I have actually said this out loud when explaining all the stuff on the passenger's seat.
"Sorry, im not used to having passengers." I say while frantically clearing the seat.
I have Cystic Fibrosis & Im a selfish jerk.
Im sick & don't want to be.
Im sick & I don't always take care of myself properly.
But when you looked at me with thoes eyes,
I melted in my jeans, or my heels or whatever I was wearing...
who knows? I only remember what you were wearing.
This striped shirt.
I remember it was soft.
I remember touching you when we kissed.
I couldn't believe you wanted to kiss me.
You were so f*&king beautiful.
You persued me intensely, texting me when I got to my car.
Then throughout the night, texting me sexually,
I was quite into it.
But where are you now?
From now I will ask..."Could you please let me know what could possibly screw this up so I can avoid it?"
"Please don't let me screw up with you."
it happens when you & the other person decide whether or not,
you want to continue spending time with one another.
Table for 1...
Dinner alone...
Just because you're single doesn't mean you don't get hungry for good food.
Doesn't mean you can't go to a nice restaurant to eat.
Doesn't mean you don't deserve good food in your stomach.
Im not ashamed.
Im not too proud or scared to do things alone.
if I want to do something, Im going to do it.
I've done plenty of things alone....
These include but are not limited to....
Movies, dinner, lunch, breakfast, shows, clubs, art viewings, the park doctor's visits, christmas (once) & New Years.
It actually feels strange when I have someone in my car.
I have actually said this out loud when explaining all the stuff on the passenger's seat.
"Sorry, im not used to having passengers." I say while frantically clearing the seat.
I have Cystic Fibrosis & Im a selfish jerk.
Im sick & don't want to be.
Im sick & I don't always take care of myself properly.
But when you looked at me with thoes eyes,
I melted in my jeans, or my heels or whatever I was wearing...
who knows? I only remember what you were wearing.
This striped shirt.
I remember it was soft.
I remember touching you when we kissed.
I couldn't believe you wanted to kiss me.
You were so f*&king beautiful.
You persued me intensely, texting me when I got to my car.
Then throughout the night, texting me sexually,
I was quite into it.
But where are you now?
From now I will ask..."Could you please let me know what could possibly screw this up so I can avoid it?"
"Please don't let me screw up with you."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Some Mornings...
In the morning, there's that 1st 15 minutes of being awake in your mind.
Your body doesn't quite know you're awake & you don't have reality together just yet.
This is all well & good if you're sleeping alone.
But if it was one of "thoes nights" , and she stays over,
She may be ahead of you thoes 1st 15 minutes.
She isn't in her own bed therefore doesn't sleep as long.
Smetimes... Your body wakes up 1st.
She just mounts you & she doesn't care that you're not quite with it upstairs.
Or that you have crusty things in your eyes.
Your mind is still foggy your 1st thought is how much you'd really like to blow your nose
because you both fell asleep with the fan on
& the window open.
Tequila is one hell of a liquor.
But your p*%$#y is wide awake as her hips make circles
& she masages your c*&t with hers.
She doesn't care that you may have to cough or pee or have gas.
She just lifts up your shirt & traces circles on your stomach with her delicate fingertips.
So you rub the sleep from your eyes as she rubs your nipples.
She pushes them between her fingers & her mouth travels down.
Then just as you focus she enters you...& you...
You... COUGH!
& its not like in the movies, it's not smooth & it's not funny,
It just happens.
You hold it back tight, but she ignores it & keeps f*&cking you.
She must really be into it.
You use all of your concentration to hold back the next cough because you know it's coming.
But now you're concentrating on NOT COUGHING instead of how good her head looks in between your thighs.
& how pretty her hair is in the morning, tossed about as she pleasures you.
Now she's taking off her shirt! She's coming up...
"Good morning", she says in her seductive playful voice.
Gawd her tits are amazing.
You haven't even spoken yet, & you know when you do,
Your voice is going to be cracky...
Cracky? is that even a word?...cracky?
If only you would have had thoes first 15 minutes on her!
but her hips are still moving over yours in that wonderful circular motion.
Yours are too by default.
It's like her p*&$y is a snake charmer ...
& your p*&$y is the snake.....
Your body doesn't quite know you're awake & you don't have reality together just yet.
This is all well & good if you're sleeping alone.
But if it was one of "thoes nights" , and she stays over,
She may be ahead of you thoes 1st 15 minutes.
She isn't in her own bed therefore doesn't sleep as long.
Smetimes... Your body wakes up 1st.
She just mounts you & she doesn't care that you're not quite with it upstairs.
Or that you have crusty things in your eyes.
Your mind is still foggy your 1st thought is how much you'd really like to blow your nose
because you both fell asleep with the fan on
& the window open.
Tequila is one hell of a liquor.
But your p*%$#y is wide awake as her hips make circles
& she masages your c*&t with hers.
She doesn't care that you may have to cough or pee or have gas.
She just lifts up your shirt & traces circles on your stomach with her delicate fingertips.
So you rub the sleep from your eyes as she rubs your nipples.
She pushes them between her fingers & her mouth travels down.
Then just as you focus she enters you...& you...
You... COUGH!
& its not like in the movies, it's not smooth & it's not funny,
It just happens.
You hold it back tight, but she ignores it & keeps f*&cking you.
She must really be into it.
You use all of your concentration to hold back the next cough because you know it's coming.
But now you're concentrating on NOT COUGHING instead of how good her head looks in between your thighs.
& how pretty her hair is in the morning, tossed about as she pleasures you.
Now she's taking off her shirt! She's coming up...
"Good morning", she says in her seductive playful voice.
Gawd her tits are amazing.
You haven't even spoken yet, & you know when you do,
Your voice is going to be cracky...
Cracky? is that even a word?...cracky?
If only you would have had thoes first 15 minutes on her!
but her hips are still moving over yours in that wonderful circular motion.
Yours are too by default.
It's like her p*&$y is a snake charmer ...
& your p*&$y is the snake.....
What Is It About Love?
Love... what is it about love? what is it about women?
There are times when i just can't get them off my mind.
I want to be close to someone again.
I want them to put their arms around me unexpectantly while im doing something ubsurdly common like dishes or cooking dinner.
To explode with passion from the inside out, to implode from the outside in.
To know almost everything about someone other than yourself.
To be so close to her that she asks you to come in the bathroom while she's taking a bath and talk to her. most people want me to shut up, what a wonderful feeling for someone to ask u to do something that u thought was your flaw.
But u can't help it, u can't help whats in your nature. your nature to love something....someone so much that u can't breathe properly when they're not around.
it sounds so cliche' like complete nonsense to someone who is less-passionate than yourself, someone who merely sees the world but never attempts to feel it.
i feel the world, i taste it, i swim in it's pool of anarchy. i drink the salty water of regret, i lick the floors of trudgery & lies, the secrets that are kept. the secrets that i kept for so long, why was i so afraid to be myself? no one has to like me they just will right?
i want someone to miss me, someone to kiss me to let me write stories about them....poetry...good poetry. words that no one else has ever put in the same sentence with their name.
someone exciting, someone that forbids u to stop smiling. someone to write me poetry and let songs on the radio remind them of me.
to doodle pictures and horrible renditions of stick figures holding hands. to kiss me like a shot gun sharp, fast, and multiple.
i've been hit and i can't see straight, i can't walk straight & i cant look u in the eye.
kiss my eyelids. brush my eyebrows with your fingers & maybe i will never leave, maybe i will always be around u & your words. i love your words I know I always will.
i will always remember what u feel like and remember your voice, your smell, & your taste... in music...in clothes, & movies & books. u....
i'm glad im starting over how exciting now knowing what u know about yourself and about women. What girls really do like or want, knowing how to make better decsions.
i want to know her hands, what her fingernails look like. what her hair looks like in the sun & the warmth it holds when u lie your head against hers.
There are times when i just can't get them off my mind.
I want to be close to someone again.
I want them to put their arms around me unexpectantly while im doing something ubsurdly common like dishes or cooking dinner.
To explode with passion from the inside out, to implode from the outside in.
To know almost everything about someone other than yourself.
To be so close to her that she asks you to come in the bathroom while she's taking a bath and talk to her. most people want me to shut up, what a wonderful feeling for someone to ask u to do something that u thought was your flaw.
But u can't help it, u can't help whats in your nature. your nature to love something....someone so much that u can't breathe properly when they're not around.
it sounds so cliche' like complete nonsense to someone who is less-passionate than yourself, someone who merely sees the world but never attempts to feel it.
i feel the world, i taste it, i swim in it's pool of anarchy. i drink the salty water of regret, i lick the floors of trudgery & lies, the secrets that are kept. the secrets that i kept for so long, why was i so afraid to be myself? no one has to like me they just will right?
i want someone to miss me, someone to kiss me to let me write stories about them....poetry...good poetry. words that no one else has ever put in the same sentence with their name.
someone exciting, someone that forbids u to stop smiling. someone to write me poetry and let songs on the radio remind them of me.
to doodle pictures and horrible renditions of stick figures holding hands. to kiss me like a shot gun sharp, fast, and multiple.
i've been hit and i can't see straight, i can't walk straight & i cant look u in the eye.
kiss my eyelids. brush my eyebrows with your fingers & maybe i will never leave, maybe i will always be around u & your words. i love your words I know I always will.
i will always remember what u feel like and remember your voice, your smell, & your taste... in music...in clothes, & movies & books. u....
i'm glad im starting over how exciting now knowing what u know about yourself and about women. What girls really do like or want, knowing how to make better decsions.
i want to know her hands, what her fingernails look like. what her hair looks like in the sun & the warmth it holds when u lie your head against hers.
I am Safe
She is my happy place
No matter how lame that sounds
I guess that's the beauty of her
That I don't care
To be so lame
She is my safe place
Where I go when I'm scared
When I trust no one
That surround me
I go to her
She is oblivious to this truth
Never seeing where I go
Remaining solid
Despite my changing surroundings
She stays
True
True to herself
True
True to me
My heart
Take me I scream inside
Inside my head
Love me I scream again
Love me I can't breathe
Love me I can't see
When she wraps her arms
Her arms around me
For no reason
She wraps herself
Around me
My heart doubles in size
It doubles in shape
A shape
Solely fitted
Fitted for her breast pocket
I am hers
I throw myself to her
To her it is frighting
She doesn't throw me back
She doesn't throw me away
So I am here
Here I am
In her breast pocket
My happy place
I am safe
No matter how lame that sounds
I guess that's the beauty of her
That I don't care
To be so lame
She is my safe place
Where I go when I'm scared
When I trust no one
That surround me
I go to her
She is oblivious to this truth
Never seeing where I go
Remaining solid
Despite my changing surroundings
She stays
True
True to herself
True
True to me
My heart
Take me I scream inside
Inside my head
Love me I scream again
Love me I can't breathe
Love me I can't see
When she wraps her arms
Her arms around me
For no reason
She wraps herself
Around me
My heart doubles in size
It doubles in shape
A shape
Solely fitted
Fitted for her breast pocket
I am hers
I throw myself to her
To her it is frighting
She doesn't throw me back
She doesn't throw me away
So I am here
Here I am
In her breast pocket
My happy place
I am safe
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)